This is not the rock star you're looking for

Yesterday, I was browsing people’s profile on Linkedin, looking for some specific profiles. As expected, there were lots of ninjas, jedis, gurus or rock stars, which is exactly what I wasn’t looking for.

I sometimes wonder if people realize what these words mean before adding them to their profile.

Ninjas specialize in treachery. They come at night using camouflage techniques, kill – usually involving lot of blood – and leave in the dark in silence. I don’t want to work with a ninja, I’d be too afraid that he kills me in the back when I don’t pay attention.

Jedis are the best warriors of the galaxy with very high moral principles. They’re the Mary Sue of the science fiction, except they’re mentally weak. When put under pressure, Jedis freak out and fall on the dark side of the force. These are not the coworkers I’m looking for.

Gurus are professional liars. They profit from people’s mental weaknesses to build vicious circles of dependance and get rich, spoiling people who believe in them. They’re not people I want to work with either, I prefer to build on quality and trust than on lies and tricks.

Rock stars are famous, rich and whimsical. They can perform great one day and cancel everything the other day because they don’t feel it. They’re both unmanageable and unreliable so you never know how things will turn with them.

Over time, I’ve used these words as show stoppers when I’m contacted by recruiters on Linkedin or when I’m looking for someone to hire. They make a great filter when you want to hire normal people or avoid bullshit driven startups. I’m looking forward to hear about the next resume headlines buzzwords to see if they’ll have a meaning as strong as these ones.

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